‘I’ll just light another joss stick, I think the candles are fine as they are.
‘Now when I go into my trance I won’t know what I’m saying so will someone please take notes.
‘OK, we’re ready. I’ll start my mindful breathing.
‘Does anyone have a message for us? Is there anyone there?’
‘We have a message for all Humankind from The Creator of the Universe.’
‘Quick, quick pencil and paper someone – I’m going into my trance.’
* * *
‘Erm. yes, well. Hi Guys.
‘Now, about these last few years. You see it’s like this. I’ve been quite busy – I’ve got a lot going on down at the other end of Creation, and you know, this stuff can get quite stressful. I’m on my own here, you know, so I have a lot of pressure that I have to deal with and, well to be honest, you guys aren’t helping.
‘You know what I mean, this constant drone about peace on Earth? Hey Guys, I get the message. OK?
‘So, you know, you guys have been around for a couple of million years now, and I was hoping we were past all this petulant tantrum thing – and maybe getting to be a bit more mature. Huh?
‘This is not rocket science, Guys, you know? Peace on Earth I mean. No, it’s not rocket science.
‘Peace on Earth? Goodwill to all men. OK – it’s as simple as that, do follow me here?
‘So, come on now guys, help me out a bit, huh? Goodwill to all men – simple as that – not rocket science. So, I’ll leave that with you, shall I?
‘Right, em, like I said, I’ve got a lot on just now, so, er, catch you later. OK?
‘Oh, and yea – Happy Christmas.’