A Great Big Hairy Monster

Giant Hairy Willowherb
Great Hairy Willowherb

As you no doubt guessed immediately, this is a Great Hairy Willowherb. They live in the remote jungles and rain-forests of the British Isles, far beyond the last vestiges of civilisation. Beyond even the reach of the tallest mobile phone mast, so far beyond and so remote, indeed, that even the nearest supermarket is half an hours journey away.
He is well known to the hunter-gatherers of the area – although the beast itself, is seldom seen – at night, round their camp fires they tell tales of legendary encounters and heroic escapes and in the silences that fall between such portentous postulations they listen, fearfully, for the sound of his call.
Once, so the story goes, all this was his, he ranged unchallenged, many days travel in all directions. Then Man came. He retreated and retreated. Eventually he was pushed to the far extremes of his once vast home range. Today his numbers are few and it is only the vast desolation that protects him. Soon, no doubt, Man’s constant encroachment of his native habitat will drive him to the edge – he will be forced to eke out a precarious living by signing up to appear on TV reality programmes and promoting his autobiography in the daily press.
Hint: I’m available if you’re looking for a ghost writer.

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