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Fingers Crossed

Hazel Catkins

Hazel Catkins

One of the ‘benefits’ of being over a certain age is that, once a year, you get to visit the doctor’s surgery for an interview with The Nurse.

Having ascertained which arm was used last time, she will fill three or four vials of blood from the other arm. I presume this is a necessary procedure, otherwise you might end up lop-sided, with no blood left in one arm and consequently spend your last remaining days walking round in circles with a pronounced list to port or starboard. I guess the operation of a database somewhere within our health service, where a record could be kept of the number of people who needed to make left-hand turns and those who needed to make right-hand turns, to ensure that the population remained balanced, would stretch the available finances beyond current budgets.

The next stage is the questionnaire. Previously, I’ve not done too badly. I don’t smoke and I drink moderately – and then only medically approved beverages – and, of course, I walk The Dog. This year it proved to be our downfall. My smug assertions of the canine conspiracy (perhaps I should write a book) were met with a new level of inquisition.

“Ah, yes. But is this a brisk walk or more of an amble?”

I did my best to lead the topic of conversation down gentler paths, but The Nurse was not so easily swayed.

So, much to The Dog’s disgust, we have added ‘brisk’ to our daily perambulation.

Hopefully we’ll do better next year – fingers crossed, anyway.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Miranda Stone
    2014-03-07 at 18:20

    Sounds like a good check-up all in all, David. Ah, nothing is ever good enough for the nurses, is it?

    Like

    • 2014-03-07 at 22:13

      They can always find something, can’t they? They probably take courses on it during their training.

      Like

  2. 2014-03-07 at 22:02

    My goodness, she really puts you through the paces! I have dark thoughts now about listing to starboard because I always have blood drawn from the right. LOL I’ll let you know if I notice it.

    Like

    • 2014-03-07 at 22:24

      Still, if the police stopped you and asked you to walk down the white line – you could always ask them to take into consideration the loss of blood from the one arm.

      Like

      • 2014-03-07 at 22:44

        On a more serious note – thank you listening to my pigs – Can I beg another favour please? This story (also for 4-6 year olds) was accepted grudgingly with mutterings of too much gratuitous violence by the board of censors (my daughters) – could you ask your panel to assess it for me – any time over the next few days would be lovely if you can find a small space for it.

        [audio src="https://s3.amazonaws.com/smestorageford.davidj/AudioStories/FinLighteningCD-2013-11-26.mp3" /]

        Thank you if you can

        David

        Like

      • 2014-03-08 at 00:42

        LOL I’ll keep that in my hip pocket just in case. I’m so glad I have you looking out for me.

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