P.L.A.N.T strikes again!

Gooseberry bush
Gooseberry bush

People’s Liberation Against Natural Territorialism in new confrontation. Send in the storks. Where will it all end? Where will it all lead to? Is there no way to put a stop to this deliberate anarchy?

Somewhere, deep within some secret arm of the Over-Government, is a dingy office. If you should ever stumble across it as you wander down the labyrinthine corridors of the underground bunker that houses the secret power base that controls the world’s resources, you would be a little nonplussed. It is always empty. Yes, there are all the normal facilities you would associate with  the level of corruption necessary for the day to day business of the Over-Government – mahogany desk, leather chair, miniature torture chamber (still in it’s IKEA flat-paks), etc.

However, if you were to slide open the secret door disguised as a bookcase (aren’t they all?) and creep down the cobweb hung passage, you will come to the PLANT nerve centre -The Plotting Shed. Here is where plots are hatched and spring bulbs germinated. On the wall just inside the door, just above the pile of muddy wellington boots, is the global warming thermostat.

As is well known, the aim of PLANT is to abolish territorial restrictions and allow any plant, tree or bush the freedom to grow anywhere.

Today we uncovered another of their dastardly plans – growing calmly in the hedgerow, miles from human habitation – we found. . . .

A gooseberry bush!  – I just hope I’m not pregnant, that’s all!

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