Sewage Pie


Sea Pie effusive over effluent. One man’s poison is a wader’s poisson. It’s good not to be selfish over shellfish. Wanted: Person to chase down and catch oysters. Applications in the first instance, to Carpenter And Walrus Ltd. References required.

Some time in the 1700s the Sea Pie (pie as in pied) became the Oystercatcher and it has regretted it ever since. As a marketing strategy it has little to recommend it. While it might seem to have a romantic ring to it – there are too many peripheral connotations and to make things worse a very strong sea food lobby. There is also a trades description issue, as there is no evidence on record showing conclusively that the Oystercatcher has the speed and agility necessary to catch oysters. In fact the reverse is true, as neither is there any evidence on record to show that an Oystercatcher has ever caught an oyster.

In the early 1900, Breydon Water in Norfolk had no Oystercatchers at all. Over the following years, as the amount of effluent dumped in there increased, the collecting of shellfish in those waters, for human consumption, decreased. This left the shellfish beds to the birds – and very pleased they were to have them. Breydon Water now has a thriving population of Oystercatchers. (This one, however, is on the banks of The Solway Firth)

If we clean up will the birds have had their chips?

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